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This is ILLEGAL #26, rewritten from paper by King Fisher / Triad. The German
parts (in all 4 articles) are left out since I can't read, nor translate,
German.

---

                              THE TRIAD MAGAZINE

IT'S

+--+ +--+       +--+       +---------+ +---------+ +---------+ +--+
|  | |  |       |  |       |         | |         | |         | |  |
|  | |  |       |  |       |  +------+ |  +---+  | |  +---+  | |  |
|  | |  |       |  |       |  |        |  |   |  | |  |   |  | |  |
|  | |  |       |  |       |  +---+    |  |   +--+ |  |   |  | |  |
|  | |  |       |  |       |      |    |  |  +---+ |  +---+  | |  |
|  | |  |       |  |       |  +---+    |  |  |   | |         | |  |
|  | |  |       |  |       |  |        |  |  ++  | |  +---+  | |  |
|  | |  +-----+ |  +-----+ |  +------+ |  +---+  | |  |   |  | |  +-----+
|  | |        | |        | |         | |         | |  |   |  | |        |
+--+ +--------+ +--------+ +---------+ +---------+ +--+   +--+ +--------+

                                                                 BUT WHO CARES?


The March issue, featurin':


HOT NEWS!         in
                  "Mad All's Mailbox and
                  "News form the inner section"

ARCADE ACTION     The Arcade Games Reviews,
                  this month: "1942" and
                  old "RASTAN".

PHONE FREAKIN'    Being online:
                  Starting a conference
                  from Europe!?

INTERVIEW         An Interview with
                  a MAN and a MACHINE!?


WHO'S HOT, WHO'S NOT, WHO'S NASTY and WHO'S NICE???


MEETING REPORTS   from Venlo and
                  Bielefeld / SHiELD

THE STORY OF...   Read an Utopian novel that
SYSTEM 4          involves you, you and you!

SOON COMING...    Interestin' warez
                  are announced, mon!

AND MANY MORE... Don't forget

THE CHARTS        about
                  Demos, Games
                  and Crackers!


YO! Are you always wondering where all these big pirates live? We hope we could
help you with... "The European Crackers Map!"
                                                                     Jeff Smart

+----------------------------------------------+
| THE EUROPEAN CRACKERS MAP, Anno 1988         |
| (Picture showing a european map)             |
|                                              |
| COUNTRY          LOCATION       GROUP        |
+----------------------------------------------+
| NORWAY           S              TDF          |
| SWEDEN           NE             TRIAD        |
|                  S              FAIRLIGHT    |
| DENMARK          N              DOM          |
|                                 TRIANGLE     |
|                  E              DG           |
|                  S              TPI          |
| UNITED KINGDOM   W              SCG          |
|                  E              FUSION       |
|                  SE             SIGMA        |
|                                 IKARI        |
| BENELUX          NE             HOTLINE      |
|                  E              ORION        |
|                  S              FAC          |
|                  NW             CFR          |
| FRANCE                          DCU          |
|                  NE             C64CG        |
| GERMANY          N              J.S.         |
|                                 RWE          |
|                                 TWG          |
|                  W              SHARKS       |
|                                 ACE          |
|                                 SAP          |
|                  SE             BEASTIE BOYS |
| SWITZERLAND      NE             SCA          |
| AUSTRIA          W              TSK          |
|                  NE             TAU          |
| ITALY            N              NICS         |
|                                 F4CG         |
| DUN BY JEFFIE                                |
+----------------------------------------------+
| (The map also marks out "The Pope" at Rome,  |
|  "Mafioso" in southern italy, and "El Torro  |
|  Cracking Service" in Spain. These are       |
|  however jokes. Eastern europe is labeled    |
|  with three words: "COMMUNIST IN SIGHT".)    |
+----------------------------------------------+


FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY

ACTIVISION have just snapped up the right to the MEGA GAME 'AFTERBURNER', but
before you start cheering think again, remember, 'OUT RUN', remember the
excitement you got when you first saw it in your local arcade? And then after
months of false rumours you finally got it... it was crap, a cracking group
even removed the bugs in order for it to run perfect (TRIAD). How many of you
played OUT RUN after the first week or how many finished the game? Not a lot,
I'm sure, well dear reader in order US GOLD to make the conversion they had to
scrap three unnamed but original games coz they needed all the cash possible to
buy the license.

AFTERBURNER will be even worse, the game in the arcade feature 5000 K more than
OUT RUN and the excitement comes from the hydraulics and the mega fast grafix,
not even the Amiga is capable of handling on tenth of the speed, let alone the
poor 64. Before you start telling me that the more games come out the better,
let me tell you that for every major license deal TEN other qualitively high
and original games can be made.

I am interested in YOUR view, what do you think about this, am I right or am I
just blowing out hot air, if you have my number then give me a call, otherwise
write to me or to Jeff Smart and maybe we'll print the reactions in a debate in
a future issue...
                                                                  MAD ALL / CFR


THE NEXT COPYPARTIES

?too many conferences at the moment error in March / April 1988.

March, the 19th: VENLO, HOLLAND. HOTLINE, TWG, ORION, RWE...

March, the 19th: GROSS-GERAU, GERMANY. 'KONRADS PARTY', A.C.E.???

March, the 26th: Bonn, Germany. WOD's 'ANTI LOSER PARTY', maybe yes, maybe no,
I dunno!

April, the 5th - 8th: ALVESTA, SWEDEN from THE SILENTS of A.C.E., hum, too far
away from here, but who knows?

April, the 16th: AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN: VENLO, HOLLAND with IKARI, FLT,
HTL, RWE, TWG, ORION, IAN&MIC / TRIAD... THIS GONNA BE IT!

April, the 23rd: BELGIAN ART! CFR, BS1, WOW, C64CG, SHIELD... for information
write to: B-ART, PATRONAGIESTR.25, 9950 WAARSCHOOT, BELGIUM.

That's it... make yer choice... and cum!
                                                                     Jeff Smart


COLLECT USED STAMPS

Hey, you surely read the interview with IAN OF FUSION and you surely read about
the fortune of his son and YOU SURELY WANT TO HELP. Nothing is easier, IAN
sells lots of USED stamps to the charity and spends the money for research
purposes against the brain sickness. SO, please, before you start throwing away
all your used stamps in the dustbin, keep 'em and send 'em either to me or
directly to:

                  IAN / FUSION
                  4 BIRCHWOOD AVE
                  GROVE HILL
                  MBRO, CLEVELAND
                  TS4 IXB
                  ENGLAND


C 64 vs AMIGA!?
STAY ON 64

YO DUDES! Sorry for not writing an article in the last issue, but you didn't
notice I presume? Well I'm gonna write about something else than the Danish
Cracker scene, but the computer which all of us love very much, namely the
COMMODORE 64! Since the AMIGA was published, a lot of groups moved to the 16-
bit'er and left the good old 8-bit'er! I think it's alright, that you guys buy
an Amiga, but why in the hell leave the 64 alone? I have had my 64 for more
than 4 years now and of course I'd like to have 4096 colours, 4 stereo voices
and 512 K, but what is the fun in making demos on such a computer? Everybody
can do something which looks incredible! On the 64 you have to be cool to do
great demos and to crack the hard games! In a period, I thought about buying an
Amiga, but I dropped that idea, coz I knew, that the only way I would use it
would have been playing stupid games and honestly I hate playing games! My
career as a gamefreak stopped two years ago, but I still enjoy cracking,
training and testing the games! Those of you, who thought about buying an AMIGA
and selling the 64, reconsider! If everybody leaves the 64, the software houses
will stop producing games and then we've got nothing left to crack... And if
there are no games, nobody will trade and if we don't trade, then why make
demos??? I think that all of you see your C 64 as a very good friend, right?
WOULD YOU SELL A GOOD FRIEND? Nope! Therefore, stay on 64! You're very welcome
to write to me to argue for or against leaving the 64, my adress is on the last
page! Before ending this I'll greet a few people:

TRIAD (IXION, JEFF SMART, HITEC, 3D)
BFD-CREW (THE BRIGHT LION)
HEPTAGON (GALACTICUS)
TRIUMPH (ICON)
and the rest of TRIANGLE
                                                               SWYX OF TRIANGLE


NEWS FROM THE INNER SECTION!

Yep, here I am back again with some curious notes from all yer friends and
enemies, so, C'MON!, we start...

* WHY can't children behave like normal children and keep playing on the
computer? We ask the dead rest of F.C.S. it seems as if TSM and FANTASY's girl
Gabi (the stupid gal at the FCS-party) mad things together, TSM made her to
persuade poor FANTASY to sell his computer and after that she returned into the
waiting arms of TSM who played F.C.S.'s big boss now. FANTASY's revenge: He
kicked TSM out and F.C.S. was dead, AXIOS didn't work and so it's over. It
sounds like an episode of DALLAS, eh?

* MR.TED PATTERSON, better know as PIR-TED from US group NEPA got in contact
with the cops and gave 'em a hint of a guy named MITCH, who's the leadin' one
of EAGLESOFT INC. Rumours spread that MITCH couldn't crack anymore because of
the watching cops, but WINTER GAMES 2 came from E.S.I. again, but the war isn't
finished yet. Anyway, if there's no E.S.I. in the USA who will crack all the
American games?

* THE WANDERER GROUP cleaned their wndering boots. They kicked LUKULLUS,
TRASHIAN and last AND least VIP out (GOOD JOB!) and J'UP had problems with the
police, so that T.W.G. is a little bit reduced, but that doesn't say anything
about their power as you see in the monthly cracker charts.

* THE SHARKS kicked SISTERS OF MERCY out because of cracking old games.

* ELECTRO, EX-BEASTIE BOYS, formed his own group ROM and joined PENTACLE who
used to be lead by DUECO.

* PLEASURE got also now a member in CANADA, he's named SUDDEN DEATH. In
addition to him the active rest of old-star G.S.S. joined PLEASURE, too.

* THE SILENTS joined A.C.E., left A.C.E. and fianlly joined it.

* MR.CURSOR, one of GERMANY's best programmers, is both a member of SHARKS and
of THE WANDERER GROUP at the same time. Yo, I hear a war crawling along them,
eh?

* THE POLICE seems to be a new enemy in the inner section, as people like
TRIANGLE, AMIGO, SYNTAX 2001, WMS, WOD amd even the German TRIAD hq got more or
less in contact with the cops. Word spread that SYNTAX 2001 gave about 400
adresses of well known guys out to the police, that's bad. But normally you
don't have to be afraid if you are under 18 years old, that's good. But,
anyway, you have to be veeeeeeery careful, that's bad. Maybe they're coming
tomorrow to your crackin' center?!?!?!

- Hey, I didn't want to scare you, but safety is much better, eh? This waz all
4 thiz issue, more is yet 2 come 4 yer enjoyment. It leaves you with the
best...
                                                             Jeff Smart / TRIAD


                                HEY, ALL YANKS,
                               CALL THE EXCITING
                             +-------------------+
                             |     T R I A D     |
                             |  VOICE MAILBOXES  |
                             +-------------------+
                              IN THE U.S.A. UNDER
                           +-----------------------+
                           | VMB#1: (305) 529 7168 |
                           | VMB#2: (619) 496 3392 |
                           +-----------------------+


THE  T R I A D  RANKINGS ONTHA 5-3 / '88

People call it: 'the only rankings that are of interest', so WHY NOT PRINTING
IT HERE? Here are the of-fish-ial TRIAD ratings from March the 5th: FUZION (64
4 sale?), IKARI (no connection with the game?), FAIRLIGHT (why not flying to
Moscow, Toni?), NETWORK, EAGLESOFT INC (Go for it!), COLDLINE - eh - HOTLAME -
eh - HOTLINE, ONION, TRIANGLE (be careful!), CFR (Maiden Fans?), WOD, TWG (und
noch eine Einheit), ZENITH, RWE (good luck!), NFL, SEPP (AQ), TDF (R.I.P.), TPI
(not the fish), PLEASURE (building a bridge to the cpu), BEASTIE BOYZ, A.C.E.
(O-cat), THE SORCERER, C16CG, 1988 A.D, LASER, TLG, GUTEN TAG (dave!),
BADSQUAD, JEWELS, DCU (cumming over), UPFRONT, TRIUMPH, SCOOP, FAC and
TRISTAR... STATUS: Up and Downs are caused by merging the two rankinx, from
IXION and from JEFF, but nevertheless. Manipulating via introtexts. Hey lamer,
increase the power of yer brain or is it 2 much 4 u?
                                                                     J.S./IXION


TRIAD'S FUTURE???????

O.K., JANITOR quitted for a while and of course we have to respect his
decision, eventhough we are all feeling very sad, but that won't mean that
TRIAD's gonna die. TRIAD will never die! And wot about the new cracks? They
weren't bad, were they? LUCIFER is the new man at the laser guns, rather an old
one than a new, eh?

You see, no problems that could not be mastered, eventhough JANITOR's flying
off pains like hell, but he will be back in some lightyears, when the real
stuff returns.....WE HOPE! Good bye and don't die.


WOSSUP???

I hear the Eastern holidays cumming and I also hear WINTER GAMES 2 arriving -
it takes about 4 disk sides, and the grafix are fantastic. Well, only a few
good games arrived in the last month, but we all hope for an inproving of these
times. Well, I hope the copyparties will become less, but better. Everybody is
making a copyparty. We are having one, too, but more about that in the next
issue.

Well, you see, I managed it to put more and more English into your "ILLEGAL",
even though I know my English is not perfect, but there are others that are
worse than me, you know. Anyway, I hope you liked this issue and if you have
any comment please let us know (adresses on the last page).

Anyway, my personal greetings are going to: IAN of FUSION (thanx for all the
mega fast sendinx, I hope you could need the stamp I sent 2 U), STRIDER of
FAIRLIGHT (I hope 2 C U next month in Venlo, Toni, then we'll kill some
commies, eh?), NIK / JUST ICE of IKARI (think all probs are removed now, we'll
see in Venlo), SLEDGIE of HOTLINE (How is it going, my buddyguard), RUB / SPC
from THE WONDERERS (care about yer telephone bill, Markus), CF / ACCEPT of
BEASTIE BOYS (servus Rob), the VIKING from DOMINATORS (yo! Morten), AQ from
SEPP, SEPP sei kein DEPP, die Zukunft ist der AlpenS AP, PLEASURE (you know
SNOW-NY?), MWS from RADWAR SURPRISES / TLC (you took the name now, Markus?),
MAD ALL from COMMANDOFRONTIER (return to Venlo, Allan!), JAYCE from DCU (try 2
take the train), TMS from THE AWESOME GUYS (R U asleep, Dave?), Dave from RAD,
John from THE SURVIVORS, Jerry from THE INNER CIRCLE (don't put in such a
fuckin' line again), SWYX of TRIANGLE 3532 (again mentioning you so late,
kaare, fuck the cops in their asses), TENZET of TRIANGLE for the banner, TONI /
FLT again for sending me the small piccies and ALLAIN / FLT for drawing 'em
(hope we meet in Venlo, dude), G*P, TSK, ORION (Mr.Decibel + DSH), ESG (!) and
all the others I forgot to greet here. Special super gum gums to: IXION (Hip,
Hop, A Gorbatschow), MR.PINGE (bad luck with the persons in the lame bus, eh?),
JANITOR (write an episode for DALLAS as you wrote the soap opera in TIGER HELL
- that'll be a success), IAN & MIC (cumming over), T.K. (ach, Dingens...) and
old nervous, colour choosing HI-TEC (decorate your walls with Roche') all from
never dieing TRIAD.
                                                   Yours faithfully, Jeff Smart


THE UNDERGROUND IS CELEBRATING... OR WHAT?

Maybe you know that GERMAN official computer magazine "AKTUELLER SOFTWARE
MARKET", short A.S.M. (translation: UP TO DATE SOFTWARE MARKET). Maybe you know
RADWAR, that official GERMAN computer group and their party in Janyary '88. A
writer from the A.S.M. visited the Radwar Party and now wrote about it in their
magazine. You surely have seen her, she was fat, thick glasses on her nose and
she was asking everybody questions. And then the article: Famous groups showed
up like 'POWERRUN' (who's that?), 'TIGER CRACKING ASSOCIATION' and many more.
And she interviewed them and made photos with a black line over the guys' eyes
(like criminal elements). Bad deal, eh? It's something like as if COMPUTER AND
VIDEO GAMES makes an article about the English cracking scene and then writes:
'Big groups like FOOTBALL HOOLIGANS or UNEMPLOYMENT CRACKING SERVICE were
there', you see, they had no chance to reach the big guys, 'cos who want to
give an interview in such a fuckin' mag, eh? Mormally this magazine writes
about crackers as criminals or as asocial elements and now, on a crackers'
party, they are kind and frankly to us, those who are writing this shit... so
how do you react? Give 'em an interview? Lick their asses to make a photo of
you? Get on your knees that they publish your sticker? NO! You did it right!
                                                                           J.S.


ADVERTISING

On the following pages you see an amount of advertising, eh? If you have
anything important to tell the rest of the world or if you want to buy or sell
something, then please write to us, you don't have to pay money for it (what
are we?), just send your text or picture (not too large) to:

                                      ADs
                                 PLK 123144 C
                                 4250 BOTTROP
                                 WEST GERMANY

And we'll see what's going on in the cracking 'underground', so, c'mon, study
the ads, maybe you find some interesting things. And maybe you see your in the
next month on the same place! Hey Lamers, we don't publish things like:
'CONTACT THE WORLDRULING OGS CREW', therefore you can send your ad to the
A.S.M. or HAPPY or C+VG or ZZAP, but not to US, you know!?
                                                                         Jeffie


ARCADE ACTION
Frustrating arcade machines

"1942"

This month we're reviewing two on the 64 converted games. "1942", the most
successful SHOOT 'EM UP arcade game, makes you to a pilot of an air fighter in
the 2nd World War. You have to go through 34 different levels featuring great
and fast graphics, you can move in all 8 directions to avoid damage and
shooting all enemy airplanes down. The motivation grows with every level
because you see your percentage of shooting down your enemies and a special
rank after mastering every level. Anyway the conversion on the 64 wasn't bad
either, of course the graphics aren't as high as on the machine, but the game
doesn't loose its great playability.

score for arcade machine: 92 / 100
score for 64 conversion: 89 / 100

RASTAN

I must admit that I haven't played the game on the arcade machine until I got
the 64 version. And what a difference: the graphics on the machine are really
looking fabulous! The sound is much better, even though one can recognize
Galway's 64 tune on the arcade in some bits. But the graphics is thousand times
better, though it's not bad on the 64. The game is really a bit harder, you
have two different buttons, one for jumping or taking extra weapons and one for
fighting, whereas on the 64 you have only one, which is much easier to play, I
think. Of course, the animation of the sprites and the sprites themselves are
much better, that is why an arcade machine is sumthin' special, eh? The aim of
the game, to get through 12 different levels, fighting all enemies, collecting

extra weapons, collecting special items, jumping over waterfalls and in the
last screen fighting against a huge giant dragon. Anyway, the arcade version
features lots of brilliant graphics and some various sounds as the 64 version
does, but of course less good, but it's not badly converted. They brought
exactly the same labyrinths on the home computer. So you can train hours and
hours at home and then show the nice girls at the arcade machines who's the
boss, eh? Even though we know a lot of games like this, it's not boring after
hours of playing, that's why...

Score for the arcade machine: 90 / 100
Score for the 64 version: 81 / 100

You see, both ELITE (1942) and OCEAN (RASTAN) did quite a good job in
converting the games, so it brings really fun to save the money and play the
computer version without loosing any playability or fascination
                                                                     Jeff Smart


THE STATE OF BEING A CRACKER

People think you are a murderer, robber or another criminal element, but what
are you really? You copy games for all those poor guys whho just can't afford
to buy fuckin' expensive original games, eh? And you crack to copy the games.
That's all, but after years of cracking, the police rises up and its power and
catches some well-known guys. You are afraid, but you don't have to be. A good
trick is to remove all disks, but always put them in a possible range, because
you know that after 5.00 p.m. the cops' work is ended and after that you don't
have to be afraid of them anymore, 'cause I don't know a single case in which
the cops came after 5.00 p.m. Anyway, the main reason they can sentence you for
is to sell cracked games, so better be a good buddy, man. You don't have to be
afraid on the weekend, either, which policeman will work in the weekend, you
see. But you are an asslicking pig if you give out all your adresses of good
friends in case of being catched to get away being punished but they don't
care, they punish you if you give adresses out or not, so burn down your
notebook and stay cool! No problemo...
                                                                     Jeff Smart


CONFERENCES FROM EUROPE

Hey, what was that? In the middle of the night, in a cold winter night, my
phone rang. I was a little bit angry, which suckin' lamer is calling me in the
night at 2 o'clock??? I took up the phone and said:

"Yep, Wossup?"
"Hi, here's Toni from Fairlight. Sorry for calling you up so late, but I
started a conference. You want to be added?"
"Wot?"
"You want to be added to my conference?"
"Eh, wait, wait, wait... YOU started a conference?"
"Right."
"You are still living in Sweden?"
"Right."
"And you started a conference?"
"Right."

I just couldn't believe it, he put me on the conference line and it was the
best conference I ever had (1000 thax, Toni). Online were: Toni/FAIRLIGHT,
Willi/TLC, Dirk/RSI, Heiko/TRIAD, Jeff/TRIAD, Allain/FAIRLIGHT, Christian/BS1
and APRIL, and American girl who was called by Toni. We cracked jokes about
communists and talked up to 5 o'clock in the morning. It was fucking great and
Toni promised to repeat it. After sleeping one hour, I still couldn't believe
it. I hope for more.
                                                                     Jeff Smart


WHO'S HOT,
      WHO'S NOT?
WHO'S NASTY
      WHO'S NICE?
THE MEETING REPORTS

I wanted to go there, but luckily I had no time. I talk about the SHIELD party
on the 25th of February 1988 at Bielefeld / Germany. I got three invitations at
the same day, stunning. Well, I talked to MOC / 7'UP, who told me that were
only losers except ALPHAFLIGHT, SHIELD and 7'UP, only some lamers from my town
who tried to get new contacts with making others down, e.g.:

'In which group are you?'
'Alphaflight'
'They have been much better before, man!'

But they had to FUCK OFF, anyway, I heard it was nothing.

THE VENLO MEETING, 20th of Feb. 1988: toooooo many lamers, maybe about 400 guys
filled this time the school where the Venlo meeting takes its place every
month. I met my old friends: HOTLINE and TWG and others like: ORION, ACE,
TRISTAR, C64CG, SRG, MADSQUAD, SHARKS, SAP, RADWAR (of course), PLEASURE, CFR
(without MAD ALL - hope you're feeling better now, Allan), FAC, SCOOP and so
many more... I got the new DIGITAL NEWS, which is not copyable, but very, very
good at this time with a preview of VAMPIRE'S EMPIRE, even though the games
sucks like hell, but who cares? People remembered me knocking DSI out in
December, but our problems are removed right as now. RON / HTL and me were
studying the new 'ASM', an official German computer magazine, who wrote an
article about the RADWAR PARTY. Fuckin' bad article, man. And then we read the
ads, where lamers wrote: 'Hey, Hotline, contact us!'. Anyway, I had to sign
some sportbags with my autograph as they heard I come from TRIAD. I was
wondering that now everybody heard of the VENLO meeting and it's becoming more
and more overcrowded, it's not longer the good old VENLO meeting, but it's
still the best party around. SHARKS and TWG almost got in war, because of
MR.CURSOR making intros for SHARKS and TWG together. RUB / TWG laughed loud
when a small kid with a FCS-button on his jacket came and asked us: 'wanna
swop?'. The five hours of VENLO are going too fast to its end. We talked
outside with TMC / SCOOP and ZEROCAT / ACE and SLEDGEHAMMER / HOTLINE a little
bit, met old star FLASH (remember FLASH CRACKING GROUP!) and had to say goodbye
without any special event. Hum, April will be the best meeting if you take the
names of the guys that'll come, e.g. IKARI, IAN & MIC / TRIAD, FAIRLIGHT (TONI
- I'll show you some commies...) and many more! Unfortunately too many guys
know about VENLO and coming to get their stuff on the same day as the big ones
(I hope you don't mind that I count myself to the big ones, too), but there's
no better one!
                                                                     Jeff Smart


THE STORY OF SYSTEM FOUR

It's just like a normal dream. But anyway it differs, because you wake up and
it's still there. We write the year 1991 anno domini and the world is divided
into hundreds of so-called 'systems', you find yourself in 'system four'. They
brought all software pirates here to 'system four', lamer and worldruling guys
from all over Europe. All pirates are sub-divided into 10 groups from 'a-group'
up to 'j-group'. Luckily you belong to one of the four gangs in the 'a-class',
that's it. You don't have to go to school if you don't like to, you get your
high amount of money every month, you have your own flat, your own car, your
own computer, what do you want? Girls? You have to take a drive to 'COCKIS' to
meet all cute girls, 'COCKIS' belongs to 'system 4', but the girls are no
pirates. You're 21 years old, in the right mood to start something unusual when
you've woken up this morning. You think back... Starting as a small lamer in
1983, joining different gangs, working your ass down and finally joining one of
the FOUR! You lay back, you smile, you have acheived what you wanted to
acheive, but, really everything. This day, you feel like taking the bus to get
to school. Why school at all? Maybe learning a bit, you think. You get your red
rucksack, your sunglasses and set out for the bus stop. It's snowing heavily,
you move through the adults' quarter. Finally the bus appeares and you enter.
Hot girls are looking at you, but nobody expects you to be 'a-class', that's
it. You have it, what others want to have. You look at all those lamers, HA!
You have the power to make them being thrown off, as every 'a-class' mate has.
Yo, you change the bus to get to your old school. It's the first day in the
week, named 'RUNDAY'. Run, by the way, you have to run to get the 2nd bus, but
you could make it easily. The bus isn't too overcrowded, good luck, you found a
seat. You're whistling an old tune from times: 'One of these days when you sit
by yourself, you realize you can't shout with someone else...' and the SHE
enters. You noticed her by the first sight, she looked in your direction, OOOH,
what sweet eyes she has, but, bad luck, she sits down to a friend of hers. You
are staring at her, you feel a kind of warmth around your heart, you know at
once, this is love. You have to know more about her! No movement, no colours,
no word, just silence. TO BE CONTINUED.
                                                                             JS


MAD ALL'S MAILBOX

Excelsior the dirty mouth is back again with your monthly dose of slimy details
about the private lives of your favourite pirates.

- On the day of their copyparty DYNAMIC SYSTEMS decided to join that other
German group SHARKS. Hum, SHARKS seem to becoming bigger and bigger.

- JEROEN TEL of SCOOP fame, the musician who had delighted us the last months
with his impressive work, worked 3 days and 3 nights without any sleep to
finish some musics for a software company, it is rumoured that the company is
OCEAN...

- FAIRLIGHT is now two members smaller, the group has shrunk to these six
members: STRIDER, GOLLUM, GANDALF, THE BLACK SHADOW, THE HOBBIT and WILFO.
DRAGONLACE was kicked out for being very inactive and WOODO has become a grafix
designer for a game-development team... hum, I smell money cumming...

- HOTLINE have decided not to pass any software anymore at VENLO. They claim
(and they have a point) that this way every lamer gets the wares as fast as the
rest of us, let's hope they still remember their friends when they decide what
few people they will still pass pass things to.

- COMMANDO FRONTIER (sounds familiar) have a new programmer, his name is
HITCHER and he's just finished his first demo called 'FACTORY' (Plug Plug).

- AHA a SCANDAL has come to my ears. COMPUTER AND VIDEO GAMES, the English
magazine that always comes down on pirates like a rock, have featured a screen
from a cracked game in their mag. In their PREVIEW Section they featured an
article on an AMIGA game called 'DARK CASTLE' and on the accompanying
screenshot you can clearly read: "CRACKED BY LORD BLITTER FOR BAMIGA SECTOR
ONE". If you want to check it on yourself just look at page 133 of the February
issue. Now I wonder where good old C+VG got this then ???????????

- The APRIL edition of the VENLO meeting seems to be becoming very important,
already these people announced their visit (apart from the regulars): IKARI,
STRIDER OF FAIRLIGHT, IAN & MIC FROM TRIAD, and many more.

- STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT has managed my liftime dream, he can set up conferences
from Europe, he explained the system and it's not so difficult as everybody
thinks, does this mean, that in a few months we won't be needing the Americans
to do our dirty work for us???

- BELGIAN ART is giving a copy-party on the 23rd of April. All Belgian groups
will be present like: CFR, BS1 and WOW. And others are coming: SHIELD, C64CG
and FAIRLIGHT (HOBBIT). For some information write to: B-ART, PATRONAGIESTR.25,
9950 WAARSCHOOT, BELGIUM.

Well, this ends another edition of your favourite slanterpage! Biggy thanx to
RAM / CFR and STRIDER / FLT for supplying me with all dirt. Later:
                                                                 MAD-ALL-igator


INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH!
THIS TIME: IAN OF FUSION

HEY... HEY... HEY... No doubt, FUSION is the definitive NUMBER ONE on the
cracking market. Stunning what I get to know about FUSION... MAN AND MACHINE in
the following interview, made on an overcrowded conference:

JS: How old are you, IAN?

FS: Well, I'm almost 30 (!!!) years old right as now.

JS: Are already married?

FS: Yes, I am.

JS: Do you have children?

FS: Yes, two.

JS: I guess your computer was out of order two times. Well, when did you found
    FUSION?

FS: FUSION was born in NOVEMBER '87 consisting of the ashes of old CLEVELAND
    CRACKING SERVICE after the war with TCS.

JS: Why taking the name 'FUSION'?

FS: I read through the horseracing results in the newspaper and I took the name
    of the horse on the last place, that was 'FUSION'.

JS: How many members does FUSION have at the moment?

FS: Up to now, FUSION are: MARK, CRAIG, MIC, STEVE and me.

JS: When did you buy your first computer?

FS: In 1981 I bought a ZX 81, later on a DRAGON and finally, in March 1984 a
    Commodore 64.

JS: Which games / music / movies do you like the best?

FS: Games:  Great Giana Sisters
    Music:  Think Twice V, Platoon, Neverending Story
    Movies: Son of the South by Walt Disney

JS: How many swappartners does FUSION have?

FS: All together we're swapping with about 80 guys.

JS: Do you have any enemies?

FS: If former times TCS, but today none. I don't care if anyone's faster or
    lamer, what the hell? I try to like everybody.

JS: Do you have a special reason for cracking?

FS: There is only a single reason: To give all people who can't afford to buy a
    game the game fast. There are lots of unemployed guys or going to school
    and they don't have the money to buy a game, you see.

JS: What do you do in your freetime?

FS: Sleep. But mainly I'm looking for my son, who's very ill, he's got a
    special kind of brain damage and his life expectance is under 7 years. (YOU
    CAN HELP. READ "COLLECT YOUR USED STAMPS")

JS: Thank you very much.

Well, next issue, I'm planning to get STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT on the microphone to
hear him screaming about bloody communists and so on...
                                                                     Jeff Smart


CRACKER OF THE MONTH

Who was the most successful crackin' group in February? Again and again TRIAD?
FUSION for the 1st time? Or how or wot?

1.  FUSION                   (2)  8.79 pts
2.  FAIRLIGHT                (5)  6.8
3.  TRIAD                    (1)  6.5
4.  T.W.G.                   (10) 5.93
5.  IKARI                    (3)  4.8
6.  DOMINATORS               (-)  4.43
7.  HOTLINE                  (4)  4.07
8.  EAGLESOFT INC.           (7)  4.06
9.  PAPILLIONS               (-)  4
10. ORION                    (-)  3.79

Status: Power from England...


DEMO CHARTS!

Here are the five ANTI RESET PUSHING DEMOS from February:

1. THINK TWICE V
                  by THE JUDGES
2. F.A.M.E. #1
                  by F.A.M.E. / TRIAD
3. MIGHT
                  by C64CG
4. FACTORY
                  by CFR
5. OUTSPACE
                  by ORION

C'mon, return to entertainment instead of showin' yer ability of coding and
handlin' raster or demos get boring and boring...


SOFTWARE-STARS

1.  PRO BMX SIMULATOR        (-)
2.  PLATOON                  (1)
3.  REVENGE OF DOH           (-)
4.  PREDATOR                 (-)
5.  TETRIS                   (2)
6.  COMBAT SCHOOL            (3)
7.  POWER AT SEA             (-)
8.  THE TRAIN                (11)
9.  BASKET MASTER            (4)
10. BMX KIDZ                 (5)
11. DAN DARE II              (-)
12. BATTLE VALLEY            (-)
13. TASK III                 (-)
14. FRIGHTMARE               (-)
15. CHAMONIX CHALLENGE       (15)
16. FIREFLY                  (-)
17. QUEDEX                   (22)
18. T.R.A.Z.                 (7)
19. PIRATES                  (23)
20. SKATE OR DIE             (8)
21. INT. KARATE +            (12)
22. RASTAN                   (13)
23. MINI GOLF                (18)
24. BLACK LAMP               (-)
25. MOONSHADOW               (-)
26. HAT-TRICK                (17)
27. JINXTER                  (10)
28. BANGKOK KNIGHTS          (14)
29. OCTAPOLIS                (9)
30. ROCKFORD                 (-)

A BIG 'THANX YOU' FOR VOTING:

IAN / FUSION, JUST ICE / IKARI, BAD BOY / THE SURVIVORS, CF / BB, RUB / TWG, MA
/ CFR, JAYCE / DCU, MWS / RWE, NY / PLEASURE, ACU / SAP, DRS / ACE, TPI /
SHARKS and the rest of TRIAD...


+ IMPRESSUM +

+-------------------------------+
| > ILLEGAL tm 1988             |
| > 3. Jahrgang / 3rd year      |
| > Nr. # 26                    |
| > (c) 88 by TRIAD             |
| > AUFLAGE / CIRCULATION:      |
|   ca. 400 Kopien / Copies     |
| > unverbindl.                 |
|   Preis: 1.60 DM!             |
| > Erscheinungs datum /        |
|   date of release:            |
|   7. March. 88                |
+-------------------------------+
| > CHEFREDAKTEUR / EDITOR:     |
|   JEFF SMART / TRIAD          |
| > REDAKTION / "ILLEGAL"-TEAM: |
|   MAD ALL - COMMANDOFRONTIER  |
|   MIND SLAYER - AWESOME GUYS  |
|   SWYX - TRIANGLE 3532        |
|   MR.PINGE - TRIAD            |
| > RED. MITARBEIT /            |
|   SUB-EDITORS:                |
|   Germany : RADWAR            |
|   Belgium : CFR               |
|   Denmark : TRIANGLE 3532     |
|   Sweden  : FAIRLIGHT, TRIAD  |
|   Holland : HOTLINE           |
|   France  : DCU 1789          |
|   U.S.A.  : THE AWESOME GUYS  |
|   England : IKARI, FUSION     |
|   Turkey  : THE METRO BOYS    |
+-------------------------------+
| Good morning, dear. Wot are   |
| you searching on this last    |
| page? Perhaps the release     |
| date for the following issue? |
| Well, we thought about        |
| releasing it on the 16th of   |
| April on the Venlo meeting,   |
| how about it?                 |
| All articles for the next     |
| issue have to be sent until   |
| the 6th of April, so that you |
| can be sure that we have      |
| enough time to think about    |
| printing it! So, give the     |
| best, go for it!              |
| C U L8R, ALIG8OR!             |
| Wish u all best.              |
| the "ILLEGAL" team.           |
+-------------------------------+
|        ANY COMMENT ???        |
+-------------------------------+
| TRIANGLE                      |
| P.O. BOX 116                  |
| 8382 HINNERUP                 |
| DENMARK                       |
+-------------------------------+
| CFR                           |
| P.O. BOX 406                  |
| 8400 OOSTENDE                 |
| BELGIUM                       |
+-------------------------------+
| JEFF SMART                    |
| PLK 123144 C                  |
| 4250 BOTTROP                  |
| WEST GERMANY                  |
+-------------------------------+
|    Wanna get your issue ?     |
+-------------------------------+
| Then don't forget 2 DM or a   |
| S.A.E. and send it to:        |
| "ILLEGAL-SUBSCRIBEMENTS"      |
| PLK 012314 B                  |
| 4600 BOCHUM 6                 |
| WEST GERMANY                  |
+-------------------------------+


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